Thursday, August 30, 2012

Dedicated to my brother RIP


April 21st 2012 was one of the worst days of my life, I have never cried so much in my life. On that day my brother committed suicide, when I heard the news it took me awhile to process it and when I did all I wanted to do was throw up. When I think about it today I still get sick. I know he had a really bad life, it hurts me everyday thinking about that, I haven't seen him in four years and I was always hoping his life had gotten better. When we were little we knew we would be separated some day and we had made a plan that on my 22nd birthday we would meet up again and find our other brother Jesse. Tony (my brother) was about 3 years older then me. He was born June 18th 1992. he decided to end his life by walking on train tracks. At 3am that Saturday morning a train was coming. Fast. When the men running the train saw him they whistled the horns continuously but Tony didn't move. The train then tried to stop, but it was too late. Too late. I play this scene over and over in my head and never saw it happen I can just picture it. It makes me cry every time.

I told you this story because teen depression is a serious issue. People need to know that you can't just be mean to who ever you want. If you are a bully STOP! You don't know what their home life is like, they could be getting abused at home like my brother and at school like him. I was fortunate enough not to have ever been abused but Tony wasn't. Every time I visited him and my mother he had new scares and new bruises. If you see some one that has bruises and scares all over talk to them, make sure they are okay!

What I went through and am still going through really sucks and I don't want anyone to have to go through it. I want to prevent suicide but I need your help! If you some one that is depressed find some one for them to talk to or be that person they can talk to. No one should have to be alone. If you are depressed PLEASE go talk to some one. And I need be talk to me. I am here for you.

If you know some one that committed suicide you know how I feel and if you don't. It is something you should never have to deal with. I feel bad for everyone that has gone through what I have. I am so thankful that I didn't have to do it alone. If you need help contact boys town national hot line they helped through it and so did my friends and family.

Over all please just keep a few things in mind. If you are bulling some one STOP if you know some who is depressed GET THEM HELP and if you are depressed TALK TO SOMEONE there are so many people that care about you and you don't believe it. I care. So please please just remember this.


Thanks for listening if you have any questions or comments just post them.



RIP A.R.F. 6/18/92 – 4/21/12



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